The Painter

Image Credits: Georges Braque

Faces stare out of a dark corner

Deformed, none a charmer

Half a face, blurred, looks sad

Stares another with just a single eye

A patient gaze towards the place of honor

A pristine white canvas propped upon an easel

Against an abstract of waves in dull blue,

The peeling wallpaper, casts a dark hue

Huddled, lost & forlon, in the far corner

His head in his hands, crouches the painter

Trying to choose between one of his lost causes

Start afresh, or make whole one of the staring faces

But devoid of inspiration, his mind cannot form

The single minded focus to guide his arm

Unable to articulate a picture with clarity

Tendrils of thoughts struggle to grasp at reality

Through a haze of spirit and prescription drugs

What was or is really real, he wonders

Is it this life absent inspiration & unanswered questions

Or was it the one that had sands, shores and smiles?

Decisions & Choices

It seems only yesterday

You said you loved me

And now you've flown away

So far away from me.

Decisions, bloody decisions

Borne of Flawed suppositions

Yours, fast and veiled 

Mine, slow and deliberate

I chose you

And You, someone else

Between us, all that was done and said

Destroyed in a cruel twist of fate

I raged, I cried

Asked you why you lied

Anything, to get you back

Why did you paint my life black?

Now I'm left with questions

But no answers

A lot of heartache

But no desire

And you carry on

New found love and all

Happy in life, and having a ball

Telling me that I too should move on

I burnt myself away

(For you)

These past two years

Tell me my dear

How does that hold sway?

(Over you)

I'm left cradling a broken heart

Scattered pieces of what once was

A rudderless ship, drifting

A candle in the wind, flaring

Shades of gray, my life

A dull automaton living a lie

Locked out of your heart and soul

Your memories, a painful treasure trove

Listless

Helpless

Hopeless

Lifeless

Like the earth and the moon

My world revolved around you

But now that you've gone

Tell me dear, how do I really move on?

Roots

 

I got off the 6:15 flight from JFK
Found that all my baggage had been waylaid
Though, waiting all alone in Terminal 2A
I had a feeling that I'd finally got away.

 

But then, an odd thought dawned...
I'd left my heart, my life back home.
And though I'd come a far way along
I realized, I hadn't really moved on.

 

Now I walk to work each day
Strange actors around, in this strange stage play
I miss my family and my friends
Back up into my shell, a sorry deadend...

 

I find comfort in a portal of flashing memories
Of pseudo-philosophical talks in a haze of volatile spirits;
The trials and tribulations of broken & mended friendships
Of moments of beautiful kinship,
Angst, love and hate...and that failed courtship...

 

The hollow feeling persists as days pass uncounted
I cling on to my memories, fervently besotted
My comfort & salvation, as I plod undaunted
Taking root, but forever alienated.

Lothar & Eviana - I

On his knees, in chains his arms splayed

Hair matted dark red with all he bled

Tattered robes, his spirit cloven

Head hung down, his nose broken

He can hear her faint calls

"Lothar, Lothar",  they reverberate

off the dark slimy walls

In this dungeon, his home surrogate

His vision swims into focus

Approaching boot steps, a chorus raucous

Grim brutes of men drag her forth

"Eviana!" he screams, his voice hoarse

Thrown onto a heap of rotten hay

Her wrists bound in thick bands of iron chain

"By Kurg's oders", they say,

"On her, Tonight, We'll inflict Pain"

A wail of anguish escapes his mouth

Forced into silence he is, by a mean clout

Consigned to her fate at the hands of those filthy swine

Silent she lies, count kept by undone belt buckles' chimes

The element of inhumanity concluded

Shaggy bearded faces in identical smiles

Heady with ale, their minds deluded

They make him scrub their filth off the dungeon's tiles...

Wrists shackled to a cold metal pole

They make her watch, devoid of all hope

The test of Love, the final tryst

At his throat their knife twists

Eyes wide and unblinking

Mind benumbed and foul

She watches unflinching

Letting forth a rending howl

Crimson red blood splatter

On the cold stone, pitter patter

From his throat escapes a final gurgling sound

Thudding heart beats halt, a silence profound

To be continued...

Celeste's Judgement

The shiny silvery disc of a full moon

Obscured by clouds filled with black gloom

Reflected in a raven pool

Ripples like a weaving loom

A black crow's crowing

An urgent, dire warning

Unheeded by a stranger passing

Not seeing,

The weaving black canvas breaking

Rises a cold dead head

Long thick crow coarse hair

Skin wet cold and pale

A dead arm outstretched

He feels a dark presence, Celeste

An unshakeable weight on his breast

Turns around, distressed

Watches her smile, undressed

Caught in a whirlwind of memories

Of pleas of help and screams

The rape he committed, the atrocities

He's beseiged, none hears his apologies

Her long nailed arms pull him close

Seizures rack his body, in death's throes

Pulls him under, to death's gallows

Tranquil pool, a Justice Grandiose

Time

Unkempt room, drawn curtain

Keeps away the winter sun

Stench of Jack

and cigarettes spent...

Under Sheets wet

and stained with sweat

I tremble and pine, a nightmare thought

A place where Hopes and dreams burn

Someone told me time heals everything

But Locked in my mind, 

Fresh struggles unfold...

This world around me, this reality

Where I'm losing hold

Holds no meaning...

Stare down at myself

This body ravaged by Time

Time corrupts

Your sense of guilt

Mind fortified, one cannot breach

Time destroys

The bridges you built

A barren island none can reach

It buries

Beneath layers of shame

Everything you ever held dear

And It burns

This present, even your name

A forgotten memory, devoid of speech

Three hands on the wall

Their plot complete, 

From grace I fall

So what exactly did time heal?

I'm so tired by the bigotry of it all

Dream

3 Inch long blades of grass

Twirl to a sweet wind's embrace

Red sun dipping into liquid gold

Casts a Dying soft light on your face

Smiling, inhaling your sweet scent

By your side, relaxed and content

I lie, not a care

Our feelings, to us, laid bare

Comfortable we are in that knowledge

Meant for each other, 

Together...

Forever and ever

Our love, now fledged

This is how its supposed to be

I tell myself...

This was how it was meant to be

But a dull, ringing sound calls out to me

Insistent and rising, it distracts me

Hapless I try to reach out to the source

To Find it, to slam it down with force

I don't want to leave that green field

Where everything is so right

And you are with me

Still I'm rendered helpless

By that shrill cry which distracts me

On a hard bed with tussled sheets

Reflecting a struggle that I didn't win

I wake up to turn off the alarm..

Reaching for a cigar,

I reminisce about that which will never be...

I think about those wild, isolated moments

And You, My shining, light beam.

I Put my fate in hands of Faith

and seek you out...

My unicorn of a dream.